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THE
RR CAFE'
Kyle
MacLachlan’s - Twin Peaks Parody
in
onda all'interno di
Saturday Night Live
il 29 settembre 1990.
In lingua originale
Who
shot Cooper - Season Two
Skit
cast
Agent Cooper - Kyle MacLachlan
Sheriff Truman - Kevin Nealon
Leo Johnson - Chris Farley
Audrey Horne - Victoria Jackson
Nadine Hurley/ Log Lady - Jan Hooks
Leland Palmer - Phil Hartman
TMFAP - Mike Myers
Deputy Andy Brennan - Conan O’Brien
(SNL writer at the time)
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COOPER:
Diane, 11:31 p.m. Just finished washing up and
ready for bed. This morning I showered for 9
minutes. Found 17 hairs, 3 curly, 14 straight.
I used the Balsam shampoo along with the conditioner
courtesy of the hotel- delivering what it promised,
a silky manageability. Cotton towel by Field
Crest. Just the right amount of absorbency.
Consumed 15 donuts today, Diane. All jelly.
I’ll be injecting my insulin in 4 minutes.
Diane, slept great last night. GOT to find out
what kind of sheets these are. Not cotton. Not
rayon. Silky. DAMN fine sheets. I’m going
to get naked and slide around in ‘em.
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TRUMAN:
Cooper- great news! We found out who killed
Laura Palmer. It was Leo. He just confessed.
COOPER:
Harry, I’m glad you’re here.
Tonight we’re going to go up to One Eyed
Jacks disguised as Indians. Hawk said we can
borrow his buckskins- you know- the one with
the eagle feather...
TRUMAN:
Cooper, listen! Leo confessed. Leo turned himself
in.
COOPER:
That’s good news, Harry. Another piece
of the puzzle. It won’t be long now.
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TRUMAN:
No, no no no! Leo CONFESSED! He really did,
honest. It’s OVER. We found the murder
weapon in the truck. His fingerprints match.
We even have a video tape of it.
COOPER:
Harry, in the FBI we’re trained in one
very important thing- to look beyond the obvious.
Now this videotape is helpful, but last night
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a hairless
mouse with a pitchfork singing a song about
caves. I surmised these are the same caves at
the Packard Sawmill. Harry, tonight you and
I are going to do a little spelunking.
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LEO:
I guess you heard. I did it. I’m ready
to do my time. Now GET ME A BEER!
COOPER:
Harry, this certainly puts him high on the list
of suspects. See he doesn’t leave town.
LELAND:
Special Agent Cooper, I want to thank you for
finding the man who killed my daughter, Laura.
Now that it’s over, I’m gonna MISS
you! Dance with me... DANCE with me!
COOPER:
Leland, I’m afraid your celebration may
be a bit premature. Laura’s killer is still
at large.
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LELAND:
WHAT?? (sobs and groans as he dances jerkily
out of the room).
TRUMAN:
Cooper, why did you say that? Leland was starting
to make a recovery.
COOPER:
Oh don’t worry about Leland. His dancing
is actually getting quite good.
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(Audrey
sashays into the room accompanied by finger-snapping
jazz music).
AUDREY:
Agent Cooper.
COOPER:
Audrey. Did you dig up any new leads at the
perfume counter?
AUDREY:
I quit that job as soon as I found out that
Leo did it.
LEO:
That’s right! I’m the one!
COOPER:
I’m talking to Audrey!
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LEO:
I got pictures! See? Here’s me, about to
kill her. Here’s me, killing her. Here’s
me, wrapping her in plastic.
AUDREY:
I just wanted to say goodbye Agent Cooper. I
want you to take this present with you. I just
have to finish wrapping it.
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Audrey
stuffs some ribbon
in her mouthand works it...
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...about
until she fashions
a perfect little bow for the present. |
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LMFAP:
I heard about Leo confessing. Tough break.
COOPER:
It’s okay. Say, I thought I might go to
the diner for a slice of cherry pie before I
leave town...
LMFAP:
Do they have little pies?
COOPER:
My friend, I’ve got a feeling they do....
You know what? On second thought, I think I’ll
just call it a night. That all right? Nothing
personal.
LMFAP:
Sure- no problem.
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